#they don’t really hate you
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It was never ‘social anxiety’ it was fucking pattern recognition, but no I’m the paranoid one for always worrying that people hate me. It’s almost like I have a disorder that’s lots of people hate me for that has a symptom of recognising the pattern of being treated like shit for something I have no control over.
a bottom-tier autistic experience is being told throughout your entire childhood that you are just an overthinker when it comes to social situations and later finding out that your friends did, in fact, hate being around you and tried to communicate that through weird little hints
#raven rants#autism#oh no! my disability has disabled me!#how dare I recognise pattern with my pattern recognition disorder#god forbid i have a symptom of my disability#like the amount of people who will say#but that’s just anxiety#they don’t really hate you#they’d tell you if they didn’t like you#you’re just overthinking this#NO THE FUCK IM NOT#BECAUSE EVERY SINGLE TIME IT TURNES OUT THEY DID HATE ME
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I ❤️ self-loathing characters, characters who struggle with monstrosity (either fearing or embracing it), characters who are so lonely, who have a gaping hole in their chest, who bottle up & repress their feelings, who claw their way up & have ambitions, who fall down & lose everything, who search for identity & purpose yet can’t see themselves outside of what others want from or expect of them, who are hurt & hurt others, who long & grieve, who lie & pretend. characters who are messy & flawed & human
#edit: please don’t tag this with hp characters it makes me very uncomfortable. and if you really want to at least block me after#tropes#I’m just saying words but. Ugh#elli rambles#this isn’t about one character in particular#more like snippets of different characters#sokka tané priya malini azula sabran ty lee etc etc#niclays too. sadly#I hate him (lovingly)#or I love him (hatingly). I haven’t decided yet#alternatively: I ❤️ ampersands#breached containment (derogatory)#a
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genuinely I think one of my biggest hang ups with ocs is having net 0 ideas on how to draw them in a way that isn’t just Standing There
#I need to draw them in the context of their world.#the world I don’t really know about. That I have no available references for.#I just have to Draw Shit? From my Brain? Do you fucking hate me?#text posts :0]
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Heaven’s 愛 302 - PlayStation 2 - 2003
#y2k#y2k aesthetic#y2k style#y2k nostalgia#y2k icons#2000s web#old web#2000s#early 2000s#2000s internet#my ai art#yeah I really liked this one#the prompt took like 5 hours to get it exactly how I had it in my head#fml#hehehe#sorry again#pls no silly ai hate#we get it some of you don’t like#pls#playstation 2#ps2
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don’t get how you can watch iwtv and be a sincere diehard lestat hater. like the world’s biggest lestat hater is louis and that man can’t even commit to it for more than five minutes before literally hallucinating lestat wearing a wedding ring and talking pretty to him. this show is about louis and every road leads back to lestat for that man
#nobody hates lestat like the men who have brain rot about him#like that’s Claudia’s mother their whole thing is far too messy to be reduced to hate#like sorry that was her mumdadbastardparent. too complicated to get it sorted out right#madeleine didn’t even know him#daniel doesn’t know him (yet)#santiago will bend over for any vampire with more power than him unless they don’t like him#(then he’ll seethe while imagining getting fucked) so in another life he’d dickride lestat or seethe at him and louis hardcore#uhhh. who else knows this bitch. his momma dipped she got her own shit going on she don’t really think about him#maybe Louis’ family are bigger lestat haters but they’re all dead#armand hates him but that’s entirely dwarfed by the sex thing and also he’s way more obsessed with daniel. lestat is not touching that thing#so yeah it’s just louis who knows him deep enough to be a true pure hater#and louis loves him so so so much. so it’s kinda over this show is literally about these two#attacking each other and then holding hands. or punishing the other for 77 years#so. yay!!!#this is not the show for you louis gets the mic for like five minutes n he’s immediately going ‘so there’s this blond-’#like we all didn’t know. get off the stage!!!!!! silence on the blond guy. but alas. louis has the mic still so it’s blond guy central#louis de pointe du lac#ldpdl#lestat de lioncourt#loustat#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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STUMBLES IN COVERED IN BLOOD. hi! sorry i haven’t posted art in a while!!!! i redrew every single isat battle portrait. including 15 custom sprites, totalling up to 78 sprites total. use these for anything you want!! as long as i’m credited and it’s not for commercial purposes, go nuts!!!
full sprite sets below the cut!! for anyone who doesn’t want to open the google drive lol
SIKE. there’s also my ramblings here. don’t worry i did actually put the sprite sets below
i labeled all of the custom sprites as such in the drive, but for anyone that doesn’t want to sift through that, the custom sprites are bigfrin damage (2), act 6 siffrin KO and timefreeze, mira timefreeze, bonnie hurt, KO, buff, and timefreeze, and All Of Loop’s Sprites. the wiki doesn’t include the act 5 buff sprite but like. i assume it exists so i’m not counting it as custom.
anyways!! this took about 2 Weeks of drawing every day. i literally drew for like 8 hours straight on one of those days. siffrin here has 39 PORTRAITS IN TOTAL i’m not kidding. that’s straight up half of all the sprites. he doesn’t need that many.
i promise. i will not be making more redraws. for at least a week. i will resist the temptation to draw the battle cgs i promise i swear i prommy. this was really fun to work on!!!! really made me appreciate just how much adrienne drew for this game jesus christ. god’s strongest soldier. with all that aside, here’s all of the portraits! enjoy!! falls over dead on the ground
#marshdoodles#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#im so fucking normal about thisngame. i really am guys#also this was how i found out that the browser version of tumblr lets you post more images at once compared to the app#so i had to. open browser tumblr purely to put the pictures here#because i had ELEVEN IMAGES TO POST. hate and rage on planet earth#out of all of these i think my favorites are bonnie’s timefreeze portrait and loop & siffrin’s attack portraits#i had to redraw the sketch for bonnie’s hair and god it was worth it#also!!! because no one on discord pointed it out#loop is instinctively gripping a dagger they don’t have in their attack portrait#and bonnie’s closing their left eye in their hurt portrait in reference to the incident#teehee!#isat redraw project
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I feel like something that should have been explored more in Arcane is that despite the dangers and pretty much horrific conditions, Zaun children seemingly grow up a lot more caring and have a larger understanding of family in comparison to Piltover children. And if such a reflection of the real world in a sense.
The kids of Zaun seemingly grow up with a lot more adult support. Ekko is easily welcomed under Benzo’s wings. Vander adopts 4 kids (two of which we learn he knew of before their parents death, two of which we can’t be sure of). Silco, despite all what happened, and his ulterior motives, shows no problem adopting Powder/Jinx. In the alternate universe it seems as though he’s still played a part in the kids lives. Jinx adopts Isha easily and Sevika cares for her as well. Hell, even Mr. War Crimes Against Humanity does well with little Viktor (until ya know, the animal abuse).
Hell, up until Vander dies (the first time) there seems to be a large understanding of if there’s an orphan or a kid in need of guidance, take them in! (And certainly don’t inform them of your plans to turn a giant pink salamander into drugs and be confused when a nine year old doesn’t understand). If a kid wants to be your apprentice, let them! For the most part, until things all went wrong in the end of act 1 of season 1, the worst parts of Zaun seem pretty typical for any city in poverty.
Match that with what we see with how Caitlyn and Jayce grow up. Caitlyn is given adult support, yes, and it’s clearly a good adult mentor, but it’s not entirely by her choice. It’s been chosen for her. She’s safe, but there’s a lack of freedom of choice. Meanwhile, when Jayce gets older, and that same accident in Act 1 happens, the family that supported him and his mom turns their backs. His own mom doesn’t support him either, because she’s afraid of what he’s talking about, but also because he’s damming them to being outcasts.
Conversely, Vander is more than willing to take the fall for what Claggor, Milo, Vi and Powder did. He’s willing to go to prison for a long time, in order for them to have a better future. Despite Vi’s best efforts, he’s not going to listen to her (she is just a kid) and he’s not letting his family go down and get hurt.
Meanwhile, a man who grew up in this mentality, where there’s a wide sense of family support from people who aren’t your biological family, is the one to go to Jayce, a stranger, and tells him he believes in him. It’s why it’s such a shock to Jayce; his own family and family friends denied him. They didn’t support him.
I think that’s what makes all the difference. Piltover and Zaun have wildly different understandings of family and forgiveness. For Piltover, it shuns and damns the lives of those who upset the balance. For Zaun, it provides safety and never ending understanding.
Just. I’m thinking.
#arcane#arcane season 1#I didn’t mean to make this a jayvik thing it just happened#is this where I admit I don’t care Cassandra died#oops she was a baddie and I feel bad for cait but go get your trauma glow up girl#go get some character development#sorry but Cassandra didn’t give a shit about Jayce until it turns out he really did have something#and when it came time she only voted for Zaun independence and wasn’t even the first or second mind you#to vote to agree#hell despite possibly knowing Viktor for 7+ years and knowing how much Jayce cares for him#and how important he was to hextech#she did not even support it until last minute and then boom#sorry to cait love you girl but your mom was giving go girl give us nothing#Cassandra kiramman hate#that’s fun tag for someone who barely had screen time#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik#caitlyn kiramman#I love Caitlyn don’t think any differently I forgive her for her crimes#listen if I can ignore Viktor’s assimilation plots I can ignore her war crimes#I’m a forgiving woman#arcane thoughts
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The tragic idea that the Betrayers loved their siblings so much that it ended up being what drove them apart. They didn't want to settle for anything that could hurt their family, and mortals were doing so, either directly (a mortal usurping one of them) or indirectly (emotionally hurting them during the Schism by just. dying so much). To the Betrayers, it wasn't worth it. They wanted their beloved family to leave and go somewhere that wouldn’t hurt them.
To them, it's the primes who are the betrayers. The primes were motivated by more than just love for their immediate family - they loved their creation, too, and more than that, felt a responsibility for it. They would rather fight their own siblings than leave it.
We saw all the gods love and protect each other during the opening of Downfall. The Betrayers were not uniquely evil from the start. They wanted to save themselves and their family from hardship and suffering, even if it meant leaving their creation, their game, and in response their siblings locked them away. Not only do they not love mortals, they view mortals as this corruptive force that somehow turned their family against them. Do they think that, if they succeed in exterminating them, the Primes will be freed from their influence? Maybe - perhaps some of them are waiting to forgive and embrace their siblings, but far from all, I suspect. Asmodeus certainly expressed during Calamity that he didn’t so much want to be reunited with his siblings as he wanted to punish them. He was betrayed by the ones he loved most for the sake of a game! Maybe togetherness and forgiveness was once an obtainable goal, but not anymore. Even if the Betrayers succeeded in ending Exandria, the Primes would never forgive them, and they would never forgive the primes. Their family can never be whole again because of, as they see it, the toxic influence of mortals. So they hate mortals for this influence, but more than that, they hate their siblings for being so weak as to fall for it.
#the betrayers were selfish in wanting to choose the gods' wellbeing over all of exandria#but they don’t see it like that. to them the primes were selfish for choosing a stupid game over their family - the only thing that mattere#sighs wistfully. still a bit sad that there's no betrayer pc's. would've been interesting#but their presence is still really cool don’t get me wrong! no one plays asmodeus the way brennan plays him#i just. imagine being a regular human teenager and then you go through anamnesis and realize youre a god who hates all mortals#what did that look like? were they conflicted? attached to their mortal families? did they immediatly turn bad again?#man i would love to see the actual anamnesis process PLEASE#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#downfall#cr spoilers#nella talks cr
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I think you might have been a father to me, once.
You used to be more than just another man who hurt me in my life.
Reference pic!
#can you imagine coming to terms with the fact that the one who hurt you might have also been a human?#can you imagine even a monster having their good moments? as fleeting as they might have been?#do those moments even matter? they happened- they were real- but they don’t outweight the pain they caused in contrast#DO YOU THINK STANLEY STILL REMEMBERS FILBRICK AS HIS FATHER???#humanizing abusers is such an interesting concept to me#not a fun one- but interesting#it doesn’t rectify or even justify any of the things they’ve done to their victims#it doesn’t change anything at all- it doesn’t necessarily make us feel pity- understanding- or forgiveness towards the abuser#it might even just make us feel worse about them#but it levels the playing field#that despite both victim and abuser being human- the abuser actively chose to act they way they did#no one was forcing them to inflict pain#it was a conscious choice to make another feel less than human- while]st stripping themselves of their humanity at the same time#they chose to be worse than they had to be#they experienced the same joy- pain- love- and hate as the victims. they shared those feeelings and experiences with the victims#they were human#but it doesn’t really change anything#my art#art#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#filbrick pines#stanley pines#gravity falls stanley#stan pines#artists on tumblr
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#kate carter#katecarteredit#tyler owens#tylerowensedit#kate x tyler#tyler x kate#twisters#twisters 2024#twistersedit#filmgifs#moviegifs#mygifs#mygifs:twisters#mygifs:kt#i don’t have a clever caption for this#i made these gifs for another set#but they didn't really fit in#and i'd hate for them to go to waste sitting in my drafts#so here you go!
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Dream’s room within Nightmare’s castle
This comic takes place after Nightmare’s theoretical death that I discussed before >:)
A bit of context under readmore
#realizing how that tiny part of your brother really cared while you were conditioned to believe he hates you down to the core time#mixed with how Nightmare made such a room to feel less lonely as Dream is his only family#all while denying that vulnerability within him to even exist#i’m so bad at environmental art don’t mind the very badly made room#I really wanted to explore this regardless cause fuck art skill i can do whatever the fuck i want and nothing can stop me#anothers art#dreamtale#dream#dream sans#dream!sans#dreamtale dream
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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after
The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually
Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-
He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.
And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.
When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings
"Man they really know what you hate huh." Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.
It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)
"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species
#Fumi rambles#Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov#Bite sized fumi#Laios touden#Meta#happy nightmare chapter day#Character analysis#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell#Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it#The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here#that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re#sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down#Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good#Dungeon meshi#Analysis#Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight#Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs
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I’m kinda tired of saying this but hating on mae under reasons like “she betrayed Noa”, “she was ungrateful”, “she was selfish” blablabla is just a bunch of shit. Women on fiction can (and should) have their own agenda besides male lead’s ones. They’re not in the story for being a main male’s cheerleaders and yeah, they don’t owe a male anything. In Mae’s case she had a mission and that mission was literally her whole reason to fight in a very fucked-up world for her so even if Noa was a good guy she wasn’t gonna change all her values in two days just for him. And yeah, if your only reason to hate Mae is the fact that she wasn’t the perfect good girl companion for a male lead, your problem is not with her, is with your internalized misogyny.
#hating on mae bc she’s not the typical good girl is just misogyny#it’s ok to don’t like a character but if the reasons are about don’t fit on the traditional female role you have a problem#really sick of this#mae haters dni#and if you interact we are gonna have a huge argument#mae#kingdom of the planet of the apes#kotpota#planet of the apes#kotpota mae#kotpota noa#noa
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Don't You Want Me (Baby?) Pt 2
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Steve and Eddie are either hooking up or dating - and are about as bad at keeping a secret as they are dealing with their feelings. (Dustin POV)
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Dustin was criss cross on the couch the next day eating a rainbow of cereal and watching Saturday morning cartoons when he saw it.
“What’s that?” He said, taking the morning paper right out from under his mother’s nose.
“Dusty!” She chided, sitting up in her recliner. “I was just getting to my horoscope.”
“Sorry, mom.” He said distantly. He read over the ad again and his grew ear to ear. This was too perfect!
Eddie’s been too busy with his dumb girlfriend to hang out with them in forever.
Well, there might be no better way to reel him back in than a Creature from The Black Lagoon re-run. Ok, it was at the drive through a town over - but Eddie literally can’t say no! He loved classic horror (even after everything they’d seen in living color.)
Dustin kept the outer page and returned the rest.
“Thanks mom! Also, Cancer’s should keep an eye out for big opportunities on the horizon.” He yelled back over his shoulder as he ran over to the phone. He paused as listen to the line ring. “And let their kid go out with his friends tonight!”
“Now where does it say that…” His mom tutted, far too used to Dustin’s Dustining to be surprised by almost anything.
“Come on…” Dustin mumbled impatiently on the fifth or sixth ring.
“Wayne here.”
“Hi Mr. Munson! It’s Dustin Henderson, is Eddie there?”
“Eds, it’s for you.” Kind of surprising his uncle was up at this hour. Usually he was sleeping in to prepare for the next nightshift. Maybe he got the rare weekend off. Good for him.
“You’ve reached The Dark Lord Baelzabub’s office, can I take a message?”
“Eddie! Right! So!” Dustin ignored him, already shooting off at 60 miles an hour. “There’s this thing going on, it’s tonight - and I swear, your gonna be off the wall when you hear about it cause they never have good stuff on out here - “ Eddie cut him off.
“Woah, there. You said tonight? Cause no can do compadre.”
“But!” Dustin sputtered. “You’re not gonna wanna miss this Eddie I’m telling you.”
“Sorry, little man. Can we do uh, I could do tomorrow. Wait actually shit, not tomorrow.”
“No, we can’t - it’s only happening tonight, if you’ll just let me tell you what it - “
“Sorry, man. I’m not gonna make it. I’m uh, I’m -“ he sighed.
“Busy.” That fucking Judas…..
“Yeeeeah. Look Henderson, I’m sorry. I’ll catch the next one ok, man. I promise.“
“Right. Yeah.” Dustin wasn’t pouting. He wasn’t.
They didn’t stay on the line long. He sighed and glared at the phone. Fuck it, fuck Eddie - they were still going. And then next week at Hellfire when Eddie asked about they’re weekend they’ll tell him how awesome it was and how much fun they had without him. Then he’ll regret blowing Dustin off.
He picked up the phone again.
“Harrington residence.” Oh right, Steve’s alleged parents were in town.
“Uh, hi. It’s Dustin Henderson. Can I talk to Steve. Please.” He said, only just managing to remember his manners.
“Steve, honey, your little friends on the phone.” Mrs. Harrington said.
“Hey man, what’s up. Wait, I’m gonna stop you right now. No I can’t give you a ride.”
Dustin sputtered indignantly.
“What you just assume I only call you when I need a favor.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You just called to say hi.” Steve corrected himself. Then he paused, clearly waiting.
“Yeah.” Dustin huffed. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Steve repeated pleasantly.
“So uh, how’s uh, how the uh,” Dustin’s eyes darted around the room trying to latch onto something via image/word association. He made eye contact with the portrait of a calico tabby his mother had needle pointed into a throw pillow. “- your cat?”
“How’s your cat?” Steve shot back.
“Hey, woah, low blow!”
“So is this call a welfare check for my nonexistent cat or?”
“No! I, uh - your parents! They’re in town - “
“Dustin.”
“Well… - Look, ok so I thought wouldn’t Steve enjoy if we all went out tonight and - “
“And there it is. Look, I already got plans tonight: So...”
“You too?” Double Judas!
Steve had said all his weekend plans were canceled since his parents were at the house!
“Yeah, well, the plan changed.” Dustin was running out of chauffeurs…
After a minute of huffing, he called Will. At least he seemed properly enthusiastic.
“One thing though. How are we supposed get all the way out there?”
“You’re gonna get Jonathan to drive us.” Dustin said confidently. Will however, hesitated.
“I’m not sure. I think he said he was going on a date with Nancy tonight.”
“Seriously?” Dustin huffed. “Jesus Christ. Well, you’re gonna convince him then.”
“I dunno.”
“Come on, Will. We’re counting on you here. All our licensed friends have betrayed and abandoned us. You gotta come through on this.” Will didn’t say anything. “Just pull the kidnapped by monsters card! Right? Say the creature feature will be therapeutic, or something!”
“Fine. I’ll ask.” Will sighed.
Will could be convincing when he needed to be. Thing is, he didn’t even really have to try. It was those damned puppy dog eyes. That’s what got Dustin, Mike, and Will in the back seat of Jonathan’s Lincoln.
They invited Lucas but he couldn’t make it after coming down with a bad case of relatives-in-town. It turned out for the best considering Nancy was occupying the passenger seat. Looking beleaguered.
Jonathan found a spot with a decent view and put the vehicle in park. He looked over to his girlfriend with a forced optimism.
“See? Not so bad.”
Nancy smiled tightly, looking at the adolescents crammed into the back. Mike made a face at her, and because it was genetically hardwired into them both, she returned it.
“Uh huh. Romantic.” She said, turning around to watch the opening credits. Will had told Dustin they were on the rocks. He might even feel a little bit guilty for intruding on date night but they were short on options here.
“Can we get snacks?” Mike asked Jonathan.
“Uh, sure. We can go over there. Did your uh, parents give you money for snacks?” Jonathan said.
Dustin and Mike shook their heads.
“Oh uh…” Jonathan fumbled with his wallet, shifting around in the coin pouch. Will very quietly looked at his shoes. Mike seemed to notice because had opened his mouth like he was about to say something to him. But then after a pause, turned back to the front.
“Actually, Jonathan got us slushies last time.” Mike said loudly.
“And he gave us money for the arcade the other week.” Dustin said, picking up quickly.
“Yeah, it’s not his turn to pay.” Mike said.
Will’s seemed to relax a little, his shoulders becoming not so tightly hunched.
“Oh. Ok.” Jonathan said, obviously somewhat relieved himself.
“It’s your turn.” Mike said, kicking that back of Nancy’s chair.
“Excuse me?” She said, turning to glare at him.
“It’s your turn to pay for the snacks. Come on, you have a job.”
“I’m not your babysitter.” She rolled her eyes. She decisively turned her back to them again.
“We should have gone with Eddie.” Mike whispered.
“Yeah well he’s, busy.” Dustin whispered back, making air quote finger bunnies. “Besides, that guy barely has money for gas. Steve wouldn’t let us starve though.”
Mike huffed, rolling his eyes at the mere mention of the guy.
Dustin settled back into his seat, looking out the window at a couple passing their car on the way back from the concession stand. He could smell the popcorn in their bucket.
Wait a minute. Is that -
No fucking way. Speak of the devil, I guess…
Dustin peered across the rows and yup, that was Eddie’s van. Hard to mistake that piece of junk for anything else that passed for road legal.
“That fucking bastard!” Dustin whispered.
‘Busy.’ Right. Busy going out to see a movie - without Dustin!
And also the rest of the party.
“Hey where are you going?” Mike said, but Dustin was already out of the car.
Mike and Will scrambled to follow him.
“Wait, where are you guys- “ Jonathan’s reaction time was a bit slow.
“They’re fine.” Nancy said.
“Ok just don’t be gone too long.” Jonathan said, ineffectually.
“Where are we going?” Mike said.
“Look.” Dustin gestured at the van, positively aggrevied.
Dustin stomped over. He could see through the window from there. Nobody was even in the front. He ditched them to come see a movie he couldn’t be bother to actually watch. Now that really grinded his gears. It was with righteous fury he banged his fist against the side of the van.
Dustin cracked a satisfied smile when he heard a yelp and the metal sounds of someone banging around in the back.
“Watch this.” He whispered. Then he dropped his voice a few octaves and with an Oscar worthy Hopper Impersonation said, “This is the police. We know what you’ve been up to.”
Mike had to bury a snicker behind his hands.
“Hey man, I know my rights - “ Eddie cracked the back door, sticking his head out. His eyes grew very wide. “Oh you can not be fucking serious….?”
Dustin couldn’t help but laugh. “Oh man, your face!” All threes boys, even Will, were snickering. At least until they heard -
“Dustin?!” From behind Eddie came an unmistakably shrill voice, positively scandalized.
Eddie grimaced. He turned his head slowly to look back over his shoulder.
“Um. Yep. Dustin. And company.”
“What the - Is that Steve?” Mike said, rather scandalized himself.
Begrudgingly, Eddie let the door swing open, revealing Steve in the back of the van sitting on a mattress and a pile of blankets.
“What? Since when do you two hang out - !“ Mike sputtered, throwing his hands up like this was a most unforeseen betrayal.
Mike fully bought into Eddie’s hype. Which makes sense. Eddie was cool as hell. But much as Dustin’s tried to set him straight, Steve dated Mike’s sister. Those two forever were destined to be adversaries as far as he was concerned.
Steve kind of just thought Mike was a shithead.
Sure if you ask Mike, he considered Steve like ‘terminally uncool’, and that was a direct quote. Way too uncool to be friends with Eddie Munson of all people.
Dustin’s been trying to push this friendship for almost a year at this point, to absolutely no avail.
So. Actually Mike kinda had a point there.
“Yeah, since when do you two hang out -“
“We don’t!” Steve said quickly.
“- without us.” Dustin frowned.
“What are you guys doing all the way out here? Away from Hawkins. Like just, so far away from Hawkins.” Eddie said, smiling uncomfortably wide. His eyes were shifting warily between the party and Steve, like he was watching the world’s most invisible ping pong tournament.
“It’s not that far.” Steve muttered. Eddie almost looked guilty the way he was chewing on his lip.
And Steve looked, well… honestly Steve looked caught red handed. For what? Dustin had no fucking idea.
Dustin narrowed his eyes. Steve was bright red, his hair was a mess (highly suspect), he was wearing his favorite polo but it was all untucked and disheveled. He was blinking up at them, mouth open like he was struggling for words.
“I don’t believe it…” Dustin said. He sniffed the air, a bloodhound on the trail. “You two were…”. The older boy’s eyes grew wide. “Smoking weed!”
Eddie deflated, dropping his head. “You caught us.” He said, monotone. He pressed a hand roughly to the side of his face, leaning his elbow on his thigh and looking up at them with his one visible eye. “We secreted away to smoke some fresh schedule 1. Please don’t tell Mrs. Reagan.”
Steve did a little angry scoff. Eddie lifted his head just enough to peer through his bangs and see the pissy look Steve was giving him. Eddie threw up his palms, with a wide eyed and beleaguered flinch. Clearly telegraphing a defensive, what?
“Since when do you smoke weed.” Mike asked. Because obviously Steve wasn’t cool enough for that either.
“I peer pressured him into it.” Eddie stage whispered, wiggling his fingers in villainous glee.
Steve rolled his eyes. Dustin was like 95% sure that was total bullshit. Because he was almost 100% sure Steve already smoked some. Dustin’s been in Jonathan’s car before, of course he’s gonna know what weed smells like. He’ll catch a whiff of it on Steve every now and again, especially these last few weeks.
These guys still try to hide stuff from them like they’re little kids.
But also, Eddie’s clearly just trying to keep the mood light considering how flustered Steve looks about getting caught with the stuff.
“Remember kids, just say no. Unless your bad influence has as high quality stuff as I do in which case -“
Steve kicked out his foot knocking Eddie in the thigh.
“Say - no thank you.” He finished passive aggressively, as if Steve should’ve had more faith he would stick the landing. “Just. How’d you guys even get out here anyway?”
“Jonathan and Nancy drove us.”
“Nancy’s here?” Steve sat up quickly, straightening to look past all their heads.
Eddie huffed out a laugh. He grinned at Steve with his canines, slowly shaking his head. As if the van didn’t smell bad enough, he took out a pack of smokes.
“What?” Steve huffed. Eddie leaned against the wall of the van, one shoe dangling out brushing the ground.
“I didn’t say anything.” Eddie’s words were garbled between the cigarette he was lighting.
Dustin took a step back, looking at Mike and Will. They too, seemed to pick up on the overall bazaar energy these two were giving off.
Honestly Dustin ‘plan’ had been to march over here, make Eddie feel bad for blowing them off, then maybe asking if they could hang out with him for the rest of the movie. Probably guilt him into buying them snacks.
Dustin wasn’t happy about being ditched, but he’d wanted to come see this movie with Eddie. He could be mad at the guy later.
Now though, he was thinking Nancy and Jonathan’s weird couple energy would be preferable to this, whatever this is.
“Riiiiiiiight.” Dustin jabbed a thumb over his shoulder. “We’re gonna - we’re going.”
They made it maybe 5 steps, but Eddie was ever insitant he have the last word.
“Hey shitheads. Don’t mention Harrington here, if you can help it.” He plucked the cigarette from his mouth, using the hand to cup his mouth away from Steve. He stage-whispered, “He doesn’t want Miss Priss to know he’s been experimenting with - the devil’s lettuce.” He added a lot of drama to that last bit, like he was telling a spooky ghost story. Not talking about like, pot.
“Eddie.” Steve said. Eddie ignored him.
“You guys run along now. Pay attention yeah, this one’s a classic.” He gestured vaguely behind him with his cigarette. “It’ll be on the quiz. And I expect your report on my desk Monday morning.”
They said their goodbyes again, and wandered off. When they got back to the Lincoln, Jonathan had his arm around Nancy and she was leaning her head against his chest.
Dustin took a brief second to ponder over what the hell Nancy and Jonathan’s deal even was these days…
“Hey guys.” He said, neck bending to look over his shoulder at an awkward angle so as not to jostle his girlfriend. “That Eddie’s van?”
“Uh-huh.” Will said.
“You should tell him to pull up. Or something.”
“You are not doing that right now.” Nancy muttered. “The kids are here.”
“What? I wasn’t -“ Jonathan protested. It wasn’t very convincing.
“Nah he’s uh,” Dustin wasn’t gonna call Steve out, not if he seemed actually upset that he’d been ‘caught’ doing drugs. “Eddie’s - he’s… on a date.” He said. Will nodded, because he also tended to catch on pretty quick. Even Mike shrugged in placid agreement.
“Huh.” Jonathan said, landing somewhere between surprised, impressed, and all together apathetic. “Good for him, I guess.”
Friends don’t lie, sure. Except sometimes. When friends lie for their friends.
Wait a minute. Dustin squinted at the back of Jonathan’s head. Does Jonathan buy drugs from Eddie often? It was a long shot, but maybe Eddie and Jonathan have secret smoke sessions too.
“Do you know who Eddie’s girlfriend is?” Dustin tried.
“Hmmm? Girlfriend?” Jonathan said distractedly, eyes on the screen. “Uh, no, no I don’t think I’ve met her.”
Dustin huffed, frustrated, sinking back into his seat once again. Feeling thwarted.
By the time the movie was finished and they were lining up with the other cars towards the exit, the shitbox van was nowhere to be seen.
So imagine Dustin’s surprise when he gets a call around 10 am and Eddie’s on the line asking if he wants to come by and hang out.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, I mean, I’ve been telling you I’d help you out on this one shot you’re trying to run for weeks now.”
“I thought you were busy today?” Dustin inquired. Hesitant. As if just waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him.
“Nope. No, uh, not anymore. Those plans got,” Eddie cleared his throat, “scrapped. Don’t worry about it. Are you coming over or not?”
“I’ll be there in thirty!” Dustin said. He slammed the phone down and sprinted to his room to get gather his notes.
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#steddie#steddie fic#Steve Harrington#Eddie Munson#stranger things#idk if you can tell but even though Eddie’s pissy and jealous he wants to protect Stevie’s feelings#don’t mention he’s here hanging out with me. even though I HATE he doesn’t want you to mention he’s hanging out w me#got my Eddie playlist on for this one boys#gonna TRY to get part 3 out tomorrow we’ll see I guess#also PLEASE we not not forget that Dustin lying (but also really not lying) about Eddie being on a date here#is going to cause just. so much unforeseen mayhem#someone stop this kid#mine
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Indie ttrpg designers
We seem to be back in the “dnd sucks why don’t you just play Other Games (yours)” and I have a single question for you in return
Do I get to roll a d20?
Because I like the d20
That shape pleases me
I do not wish to roll a random amount of d6s or d8s or any of them other fuckers
I wish to roll the d20 because icosahedrons please me
I will also accept d12 but the other shapes all have less mouthfeel so if that’s what your game’s based on, it is not for me
I’d also prefer more than four stats but I’m not gonna lie it is the shape of the math rocks so like
Rec your d20 based indie ttrpgs friends cuz every single one I’ve opened is them little cube fuckers or the double pyramid and I Require Round
#ttrpg#dnd#so many people so close to super good points about the problems with dnd#and then they go ‘and as an indie designer you should just play Other Games (mine)’#and like. it’s a good point. it also very clearly underlines that you’re marketing via negativity and i’d actually really rather just hear#how good your game is? complaining is not an access point to my wallet#for real tho rec list this shit#indie ttrpg#i have Math Rock Requirements and also i hate d10s for no discernable reason#i don’t like the rest as much but d10s man. i just. i hate em#they are Bad Shape#skinny tutu bitches#not even good for caltrops#xoxo fuck you d10s#i get the math for probability and shit is easier on smaller dice but have you considered:#d20 shape good#and also d20 easily maths into 100 for percent calculations#which is why it’s weird i hate d10s they’re the only other dice that don’t Fucking Suck to calculate percents from#i know a 13 on a d20 is 65% bad#the fuck is a 5 on a d8#(it’s 62.5 but that’s my point fuck decimals)
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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